PT. 4:


A Glass of Temporary Emotion


(A prayer/stream of consciousness)


Chloe Arnold

Let me carve, somehow, into the translucent walls of pain that are wedged between the cracks in my heart, heavy as lead, heavy as a stone. Let me succeed in putting words onto paper that truly reflect the feelings I am trying to describe. Although I mourn internally, let me express my swift excess of anguish in all its poetic ability.

Sadness as a temporality;

The turbulent oceans within me that failed to keep my emotions far out at sea.

Everything was tender and melancholy, drifting towards the fronts of my brain as if it were suddenly a metaphor for the shore.

The futility of my sadness, dragging and tugging until my face went cold with grief and creased with sorrow.

Misery embodied through the pain of staring at a photograph of someone that exhibited a smile yet communicated a wave of unhappiness.

I was forlorn with a sense of knowing, an inescapable understanding of the burning truth behind false-joy. Pangs of pointless embarrassment and guilt stung my insides, and combined with the loneliness of taking upon the secret weight of someone else’s feelings.

It bubbled for a fleeting moment, cooking my insides until my entire existence had no definitive place outside of my relationship to the photograph that caused my sadness.

It was over before it began, keeping me afloat more dead than alive, for days and days and days.

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